There are also other things to begin considering at this time. if i am to begin my own formation, in which i have sensed for sometime deep within me a natural urging, then i must consider the aspects in which would serve my becoming.
There is much to consider as much will be changing from here until i do not know when. and i think a part of this process is finding the beauty during the changes, from enduring this environment that does not offer much of the opportunity in properly maintaining ones self (today the pipes are frozen and a bath is not available, which is not conducive to my efforts.)to shortly being in a new environment without my guidance in my presence, with new people whom i have never met before, to shortly after having the process of selling a house and establishing a new place to live, while developing myself and establishing our relationship amidst the changes. A part of me yearns deeply for stability. One place for a long time with one man to Love forever. It will be soon it seems. Within 8 months. And so it is finding beauty in the transition.
The state of constant arousal in the soul seems quite necessary. And indeed, the thought of obtaining and maintaining its capability quite makes me happy! So, i do believe this is a goal. Through it i am sure to see the beauties in the world constantly, especially in all of the encompassing change. Though direction in this might be needed. i am very thirsty for knowledge and understanding.
i do believe the calendar journal will be an absolute life saver, as days in advance i could plan my schedule as will be needed with so many changes. Another goal: maintaining the calendar.
i know at this time the beauty in which i achieved has taken a downfall for many reasons. 1. the demands placed upon me during this transition and the constant needs of others before my own, in which is being rectified. 2. the surroundings in which i am in. (i read most recently that water seeks water, and we become the level in which we are surrounded by. In which the level i have been surrounded in has brought me down to it's level heavily.) But even in this, i am actually quite happy, because as i rebuild with my Love, my beauty will flourish once again, most likely in a different and better way. So, in this it is my place to be acceptant of my process, knowing that i am doing the best i am capable of. And with time and patience with myself, everything will naturally fall into place. Another goal. Patience with myself.
The need for transparency. i would like the opportunity for independent disciplines and accountability in the form of internal disciplines declaration. i feel the accountability to others and the opportunity of supporting others is a further opportunity to deepen my commitment and forward formation and progression. Another goal: Independent disciplines and accountability.
The need for communication with others in regards to sustaining a long distance relationship. it will be short term, only 4 months into the new year. However, it is greatly needed at this time. Another goal in retrospect.
And, the need to be participating with other women whom are developing themselves currently for the future they will have when He comes. Not married quiet yet! LoL. Their insight would be heart warming. Another goal.
i believe this should suffice for now. 6 goals.
1. state of constant arousal
2. maintaining the calendar
3. patience with myself
4. independent disciplines and accountability
5. beginning communication with others in long distance relationships
6. beginning communication with others in preparation
The only question that remains would be the advice of others, in that i wonder if these goals are too much for one sitting in establishing goals. i do not believe so, though i have always been one to take much upon myself, and would like an objective perspective in order that i me see my goal setting is practical or not.
thanks!
love always
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